Last Monday I went in for my first monitoring session for Clomid. I enter the lobby, give the guard my photo id and proceed up to the fourth floor. I arrive at my doctor’s office, pull open the frosted glass doors, and am shocked to see the waiting room quite full. Typically when I’ve come for other appointments there has only been a few individuals waiting to be seen. Apparently the heavy foot traffic comes between the hours of 7:30am – 9:00am for fertility monitoring.
A sadness washed over me as I sat there viewing the other “patients”. I wondered how long they have been trying, what they were here for, how many tears they have shed. Glancing around I thought these women all looked like they would be loving mothers. The same thoughts probably running through all our heads, the feelings of shame, frustration, longing, and loneliness. Here we were, a room full of strangers that could probably understand each other in an instant, more-so than our closest friends ever could. I turned on my Kindle and waited for my name to be called.
The monitoring went quite quickly – an internal ultrasound followed by some blood work and then I’m out the door. I like that my doctor has the monitor right where you can see it – she explains what is being looked at and answers any questions I have – including the question about taking Clomid at the wrong time (cycle day 1, instead of starting on cycle day 4). No big deal she says and a script is written for just one extra tablet. I make an appointment for the following Monday, same time, and off I go to work.
This cycle I feel quite hopeful – I feel good that we are trying something else and I feel a sense of reassurance. I actually like that I am being monitored and feel confident that if something is amiss, we will find it this time. Of course, in the back of my head I know the more hopeful I am the harder the disappointment may be in two weeks time. I’m done with my round of Clomid this cycle and thankfully I had no side effects. Tomorrow I will visit with my doctor to see how my body has responded to the medication.